A delayed honeymoon can mean a more pleasant trip

In November last year, when my now husband and I got married, we registered for contributions to our honeymoon.

“Where are you going?” everyone wanted to know. We had no answer.

Between all the time, money and energy that went into the ceremony and reception, travel plans were on the back burner. And we are not alone. Again, the definition of a “honeymoon” seems to be changing.

The word “honeymoon” dates from the fifth century, when bridal couples drank mead (sweet wine) during the first month or moon of the wedding. In Victorian England, this meant visiting family and friends who could not attend the wedding. Only later would the meaning evolve into a romantic vacation for two.

READ MORE:
* Cash no item? Here you can read how you are on a honeymoon with nothing but luxury in mind
* 10 tips for planning the perfect place to stay
* Honeymoon madness in Maui

DELIVERED

Elizabeth Kiefer and her husband, Andrew Tejerina, in Sarakiniko on the Greek island of Milos.

But while it was once the rigor for the happy couple to leave immediately after the reception, delayed honeymoons are becoming more common, according to experts in the wedding industry and initiates.

According to trend data from the honeymoon weeks of the WeddingWire industry platform, couples who report leaving one to two days after the wedding have fallen by 13 percent since 2015.

When you consider both wedding and travel trends, it is often useful to postpone a honeymoon.

Lindsay Landman, a wedding and event planner based in New York City, USA, attributes the shift to the evolution of wedding schedules.

“You used to get married on a Saturday, you had your ceremony and reception, and then everyone happily continued,” says Landman. “Now it is very rare that a wedding is a one-day affair.”

Edward Cisneros / UNSPLASH

It is not necessary to take a honeymoon immediately after your wedding. (File photo)

Today’s celebrations often take place over the course of an entire weekend, with welcome drinks the night before, activities the day of the ceremony and brunch the day after. By the time it is all over, couples may need some time to decompress before leaving for their honeymoon.

The rise of destination marriage has also played a role. “The main reason why people say they want to do a destination is that they want to spend time with people,” says Landman. The result is a group vacation that culminates in “I do”, a journey that prevents many couples from immediately starting a new journey.

Destination marriages require not only extra costs, but extra vacation days.

“You can’t just leave work on a Thursday evening. Now you have to leave on a Tuesday evening,” says Landman. “Even if you don’t fly, you are packing up and doing a mini vacation for the wedding itself.”

Postponing a honeymoon is also logical from a travel planning perspective. Stephanie Park is the co-founder of Journy, an online millennial-focused travel agency that provides users with personalized routes.

“We see people planning honeymoons very, very early, or have been married for a while, and now they have the free time to spend planning the perfect trip,” says Park.

123RF

The rise of destination marriage has influenced how – and or – couples are on their honeymoon. (File photo)

And she means perfect. “With honeymoons it is usually a unique experience, you have saved all this money for your wedding and your honeymoon,” says Park. “It’s a lot of pressure to make a one-way trip. You need time to plan.”

And if you see traveling as the competitive sport it has become on social media, you may not only feel the obligation to design a never-forgotten trip for two, but to put together a vacation that your Instagram followers makes you jealous.

Other couples must also recover financially before they can make a dream trip. According to the latest data from the wedding site The Knot, the national average cost of a wedding in 2018 was US $ 29,200 (NZ $ 43,800); from a honeymoon, US $ 5,342.

“Some people need a little breathing space to earn back and invest again,” says Landman. And by waiting, they can make use of a honeymoon fund.

There are more intangible benefits. Delay helps both anticipation and finances grow. “If you do it six months, a year or even 18 months later, you have something to look forward to,” says Rachel Sussman, a therapist who specializes in marriages and relationships.

Planning the trip and traveling together is also good for your wedding, Sussman adds. She recommends that people planning a honeymoon – or actually any vacation – make time to really talk about what they want from that trip, up to the way they expect to spend the days.

123RF

Traveling together can be good for your relationship. (File photo)

“People really need to have that conversation and get to the same page,” she says. “Do you want to see every site there is? Do you want to relax and sleep late? Talk to each other and find out before you go.”

But don’t let the opportunity to go somewhere slip away, because traveling together has advantages. “We all tend to get caught up in our daily routine,” says Sussman. “Sometimes you get into a rut and can feel everyday. Being together alone is a way to connect, and it doesn’t have to be a big chic trip. It can be an Airbnb in your own city in a different neighborhood.

And even if it’s not the perfect vacation, it can also be good for marriage.

“If you have a bad experience, it’s good to figure out how to handle it together. What if one of you gets sick? What if there is a problem?” she says. “It’s a small microcosm of your relationship and a good way to use your skills together; being outside your comfort zone is a good thing.”

As for my own honeymoon, we have waited for various reasons, including all of the above: wedding costs, lack of vacation days, time-consuming planning. Our investigation started about six months after the knot was tied.

Eleven months after our wedding day we spent two weeks walking, swimming, and relaxing on a trio of remote Greek islands. But by far the best thing about waiting was that it prolonged the buzzing feeling of “just married” and the celebration of our lives together.