From the Pope’s blessing to King Louis XIV’s bed, we reveal the totally mad demands the mega-rich make for their …

THE official wedding season is in full swing – meaning a boom time for honeymoon hot spots.

Lining up your dream break can be just as important as planning for the big day itself — especially if you are a billionaire.

Nobody knows that better than the team at Ovation Vacations, a travel consultancy for the mega-rich.

The New York-based company’s 30 agents plan more than 200 honeymoons a year — at an average cost of £38,000 — and handle a bizarre range of requests from loaded clients.

And as I learned during a crash course with the team, there are many odd entries on wishlists from the world’s most wealthy.

By the end of my second day, I had arranged a private meet-and-greet with the Pope (for a Jewish man, no less) and helped organise a transatlantic charter flight for a sheik’s favourite falcon.

But wait, there’s more . . .

Someone has to carry the meat

After signing a nondisclosure ­agreement, your first rite of passage with Ovation is to travel with the meat. Literally.

The agency’s customers include many kosher and halal travellers (along with plenty of picky ­eaters).

One of the most common requests is to have specific cuts of beef flown from a client’s butcher to a location on the other side of the globe.

The title of “T-bone chaperone” always goes to the agency’s most ­junior planner.

It is their unenviable task to lug the filet mignons through airport ­security in chilled briefcases, then on to a commercial jet and eventually to the desired hotel kitchen.

One planner received paint charts from a traveller showing how he wanted his steak.

On my second day at the office I processed a request from a new client who wanted his al dente pasta boiled for an exact number of minutes.

And one pop star lived up to the classic stereotype by asking for freshly picked tropical dragonfruit every morning for her daily “pink drink” smoothie . . . in Iceland.

Celebs aren’t the only ones with a rider

Riders are compiled for every one of Ovation’s honeymooners — and often are so complex they make J-Lo look easy-going for wanting peanut MMs picked out of her bowl of sweets.

On the manageable end, particularities range from specific plies of toilet paper to strange bed-making ­methods (two top sheets, with the duvet covering only the bottom half of the mattress, for example).

One newlywed visiting the ­Seychelles would drink only the Fiji brand of water, so a crate was duly flown in to supply her each night.

Another wanted Elchim hairdryers everywhere she went — including far-flung Laos and Sri Lanka.

Once, a team member was given a list of 16 condom brands a new husband wanted stocked in his minibar.

Sometimes the requests are so big that a construction crew is needed.

For a five-night trip, one TV actress paid £30,000 to have her hotel bathroom’s granite sink lifted by 7in — all so she would not have to bend over when washing her face.

Similarly, a husband spent £60,000 to have a 210ft yacht completely ­carpeted so his new wife could wear her stilettos instead of having to — gasp — go around barefoot.

Sometimes you’ve got to build the beach

Why customise the perfect hotel room if you can’t do the same for the beach?

That’s what the team did after one couple’s dream Caribbean holiday — in a presidential villa with a small private beach — was nearly wrecked by a storm.

The planning team’s quick solution? Hiring trucks to move sand in from another part of the island at a cost of £38,000.

Sometimes the solution is not quite so extreme.

One agent recently ­travelled to St Lucia in the Caribbean to personally guarantee a picky couple’s beach bliss.

The resort had a strict first-come policy for use of their chaise lounges, and refused the client’s offer to buy the entire beach.

So the agent checked into the resort and claimed the best beach seats for them before sunrise each morning.

Wishes can be granted…unless you’d end up in jail

“We’ll do anything for our clients as long as it’s legal in the country they’re visiting,” says a team ­member who has fielded only one request for a prostitute in his 18 years of honeymoon planning.

(We’ll get to that story shortly).

There have been requests for cocaine and even money laundering, which are both a big no-no.

But most boundary-pushing demands tend to revolve around exclusive experiences.

Tickets to the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party are an easy fix.

More impressively, Ovation has organised an overnight stay at the Palace of Versailles in France for honeymooners who wanted to sleep in King Louis XIV’s bed.

Within two hours of joining the agent team, I was on the phone to the Vatican, sorting out the logistics of having the Pope marry an ­interfaith couple on their ­elopement-cum-honeymoon.

Three’s not a crowd

To some high-profile travellers, it’s not privacy unless it’s shared with a ­security detail to keep the paparazzi at bay.

Others just like having their make-up artists, trainers, and personal chefs around.

One couple paid £1,700 per day to accommodate a trio of clinicians who could administer intravenous drips to cure their hangovers.

Sometimes those extra travellers aren’t even human.

Honeymooners who can’t live without their dogs have been known to splurge on suites with extra bedrooms, massages, gourmet food and even custom-built furniture.

As for the second-most common companion creature? Falcons.

Several birds of prey have been booked on long-haul flights — they are allowed on Emirates and Etihad ­without a handler, as long as you book them a £16,000 first-class suite.

“If you put a cloth over their heads, they remain docile,” I was told.

Crisis management, around the clock

Two consultants are on call for every trip to ensure travellers get a near-instantaneous response to any on-the-ground emergency.

Typical on-the-road requests range from restaurant reservation alterations to complete itinerary overhauls.

Sometimes trips go wildly awry, such as when a couple in Paris got stuck behind a car accident on the way to the airport.

The team arranged for four motorbikes to pick them up in the middle of the road (two for the travellers and two for their luggage) and zip them between gridlocked vehicles in order to make their flight.

Sometimes a hurricane blows through, or a bride trips and falls over on her jet to Miami and chips a tooth.

In the latter case, by the time her plane landed, the team had booked a cosmetic dentist — and not the one recommended by the bride’s hotel, who turned out to be a registered sex offender.

Some are good at finding their own trouble

There have been instances of the honeymooners getting out of hand.

The wife who hurled dishes at her server when he forgot to bring Tabasco for her eggs?

Yeah, she’s on the agency’s very polite blacklist.

Racist comments are also banned, as is making a pass at a spa therapist, even if you don’t bellow: “Don’t you know who I am?” when she refuses.

And sometimes it’s trouble in paradise

 

Remember when Britney Spears married and divorced Jason ­Alexander in 55 hours?

Some ­Ovation clients have had marriages fail even faster.

Just 36 hours into their Maldives honeymoon, one ­couple called it all off as he had not stopped some illegal habits, as promised.

The groom stayed and requested some professional “company”.

Escorting is illegal there, so ­Ovation put him on a four-hour flight to Bangkok and set him up with a “nightlife guide”.

Another time, a wife rang ­Ovation to add her hairdresser to the upcoming trip.

But after the ticket and hotel room were arranged, Ovation got a call from the husband requesting the extra booking be cancelled.

As it turned out, he was having an affair with his wife’s male ­stylist, Fredrick.

And yes, the ­honeymoon went ahead as planned.

• This article first appeared on bloomberg.com.