We Tweeted Our Pregnancy the Day We Found Out

Nikki: Just because we disclosed didn’t mean we were extremely confident about the process. For the first couple of weeks, I kept checking the toilet paper and toilet to make sure I wasn’t bleeding. That anxiety exists no matter if we disclosed or not.

B.A.: Yeah, we’ve said this before about us having different types of anxiety prior to getting pregnant. I’m like, “Hey, if this time was a negative, we have two other embryos!” But I’m not the one getting hormone injections every morning for three-plus months or taking six pills every day or having a transvaginal ultrasound every week or my blood drawn. I don’t have the same burden as you. I totally understand all your anxiety. I just want you to manage it as best you can and never fault yourself for anything.

Nikki: I was nervous about whether the embryo transfer would implant. Once it implants, you’re worried about miscarrying. I just think the anxiety is a part of preparing for parenthood. I imagine myself being nervous about them taking their first steps and falling, and I’ll be nervous when they’re 18 and driving alone on the road. I’ll just have to be in therapy.

B.A.: Exactly!

Nikki: So, the embryo transfer was easy-breezy.

B.A.: Sure. You were pretty high.

Nikki: Yeah, they gave me some Valium to make me relaxed. It was the same staff that helped with the egg retrieval. So, there was familiarity there, and the transfer itself was painless, quick and smooth. But prior to the embryo transfer, we opted to pay out of pocket for a biopsy. The biopsy was performed so that one, we knew exactly how to time the transfer; and two, how much hormones I needed to take and when; and three, we didn’t want to “waste” an embryo by guessing. The biopsy was one of the most traumatic experiences of this entire process. It was very painful, but it was worth it.