Amazing Grace: How a death and a song helped this Iowan realize she didn’t have to travel to go on a life-changing journey
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How a dream to folk-n-roll on the road became an inward journey for Des Moines musician Kat Darling, as presented at the Des Moines Storytellers Project’s “My Great Adventure” on Tuesday, April 23, 2019.
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Editor’s note: Kat Darling first told this story on stage at the Des Moines Storytellers Project: My Great Adventure event. The Des Moines Storytellers Project is a series of storytelling events in which community members work with Register journalists to tell true, first-person stories live on stage. An edited version appears below.
It’s 2014 and my musical family is being featured in the Des Moines Register with the headline: “The High Crest — Living on the Road. The High Crest is taking its show and its family on the road.”
But on that day, we weren’t on the road — not yet.
The article covers our big dream of traveling and performing our music as a family. The photo on the cover shows my little family huddled together in front of our Des Moines home that we were in the process of selling.
We do not look confident. In fact, we look a little like, “Holy hell, what have we gotten ourselves into?”
From the beginning, Aaron and I played music together. We formed The High Crest, got married and nine months later had our honeymoon baby, Abileen.
A year after that, my mom died of cancer.
I was a new wife and a new mom, but I was lost. Losing my mom devastated me.
Even as lost as I felt, Aaron and I started our business, 5 of Hearts Productions, released our self-titled debut album and finally went on tour!
Our little trio packed up the van and traveled cross country — Portland or bust!
Performing our gigs and seeing the ocean for the first time, at 32 years old, was a beautiful and overwhelming experience. This trip made us realize we had a lot more to figure out.
So we got to work. We recorded our second album, “Gone.”
We continued to believe in our music and kept going.
We went to Folk Alliance International, performed 80/35 and were featured on Iowa Public Radio.
We sold our house, minimized our life, bought a travel trailer and began learning the ropes of #RVlife.
We were on a roll — a folk and roll. We like to say our music is Folk and Roll for the Folkin’ Soul.
We took another tour out to the northwest coast, this time with our trio — our travel trailer, our dog, Zapata, and traveling cat, Mango. On this trip, Mango started his own Instagram page, so you too can follow him at Mango View.
Even though it felt like a new beginning for my family, it really was a beginning to an end.
Through our wanderlust and determination to fulfill our dream, we had been blinded as to how things really were at home.
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Linda, the warrior
Just a few months after the article was released, reality came into focus when Linda, Aaron’s mom, attempted suicide in early April 2015.
Multiple sclerosis is a disease that strips away your nervous system making messages to your body difficult to receive. And as time goes on, slowly you lose function of your body, right before your very eyes.
Linda had MS for 40 years. Yes, she was a warrior.
Aaron’s dad, John, took care of her every need and was an amazing caregiver. After the attempt, Linda was admitted to home hospice and would be with hospice for three years.
Aaron and I realized the changes we were going to make weren’t the ones we had planned. We wanted to be close to home and to our family.
So we put our traveling dreams on hold, stayed in Des Moines and sold our RV. We continued to perform around the region and be active in the Des Moines music scene. Aaron also recorded his first solo album, “Watchlist.”
And … I got pregnant again. Being pregnant is a journey in itself!
After my first water birth with my daughter, I was sure I was never going to have another child! It was another moment of, “Holy hell, what have I gotten myself into!”
Rockwell, our little fiery spirit, was born at home with his dad and sister (and midwife and doula) as the welcoming committee. The next day, we loaded him up in the van and went to introduce him to his grandparents, his first road trip.
Still the road called, and we found ourselves dreaming again.
Last summer, Aaron and I bought a 1970 vintage camper and began to renovate it with Aaron’s dad’s help.
We continued to wait, and wait, and wait, and watch for changes in Linda.
All of us tried, in our own ways, to navigate a slow goodbye.
One, two, one, two
When my mom was passing away, she asked Linda to take care of me and Linda did — above and beyond.
She was an amazing mom and grandma; Abileen and her had a special bond.
My daughter wrote this beautiful goodbye letter to her grandma.
She wrote, “Go fly freely, as free as a blue bird!”
She said, “But when you go it will fill us with pain. You may say you don’t want us to cry. Well, who do you think we are? We will cry and cry. But those tears mean we are strong like you.”
Linda’s 70th birthday comes at the end of November. So we filled her house with family and friends and all the love we have for her.
About a week after, she started feeling very ill. She stopped eating and began to show signs of dying.
Morphine was prescribed.
We gather together in that morning to say goodbye. We all know it’s time.
I lay Rockwell down for his nap and when I come back I find Aaron. He comes out of her room and says, “I told Mom I’d play her a song.”
Her husband, her three sons and their partners all gather around her. I held my daughter in the doorway.
Aaron sat closest to his mom with his guitar in hand and began to strum “Amazing Grace.” His brother started singing and I felt myself jolted into this divine moment.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound …”
By the end, we were all singing harmony and for a second, I swear I hear Linda’s voice singing with ours. As the song finished, Linda’s soul is released — in peace and with grace.
The woman I loved made her way into the unknown, and the journey she was so ready to go on had finally begun.
Linda died on the 12th day of the 12 month at 12:12. Linda loved numerology. This repeating angel number represents counting the steps as you climb up a staircase … one, two, one, two. I believe this climb brings you closer to your inner self, your soul.
We were gifted this moment to remind us to stay positive. Linda would always say, “H-A- P-A! Have a positive attitude!” She wanted us to continue on, no matter how hard it gets, and to keep dreaming those big dreams you have to grow into.
We all wanderlust. What I wanted in hitting the road was to grow and challenge myself. I wanted traveling to change me. I wanted to take one step after another into a whole new life, a new self.
And I still do … one, two, one, town.
But it took staying right where I was to teach me my most valuable lessons. It gave me the opportunity to be a witness. It gave me the chance to dig deep to reveal my darkest fears, to show myself that I didn’t need to be afraid. That I am loved and I am not alone, no matter where I go.
My journey is already happening, right now. The road is right here inside of me.
ABOUT THE STORYTELLER: Kat is a musician in the folk and roll family band, The High Crest, and is the owner and operator of 5 of Hearts Productions. She is a road warrior and adventures through life with her two children, Abileen and Rockwell, husband, Aaron Earl Short, and cat, Mango. Kat enjoys teaching, writing and illustrating. Her passions include cooking, nature and minimalism. She creates and shares in hopes of inspiring others.
The 2019 Storytellers season
During our fourth season, there will be only one show per evening starting at 7 p.m. Your ticket will include a reserved seat, so no more saving spots or rushing to arrive early.
Tickets, which start at $12, are on sale now at DesMoinesRegister.com/Storytellers; by phone at 1-800-745-3000; or at the Hoyt Sherman Place box office, 1501 Woodland Ave., Des Moines.
The 2019 themes:
- On Second Thought: Ideas reconsidered and lessons learned (June 18)
- My First Time: The awkward enlightenment of coming of age (Aug. 20)
- True Tall Tales: Stories so bizarre and mysterious they have to be true (Oct. 29)
- Holiday Spectacular: Family, faith and reasons we gather at the end of the year (Dec. 17)
Become a teller
The Des Moines Storytellers Project strongly believes that everyone HAS a story and everyone CAN tell it. None of the storytellers who take our stage are professionals. They are your neighbors, friends or co-workers, and they are coached to tell by Register journalists.
Want to tell your story at one of our upcoming Storytellers Project events? Read our guidelines and submit a story by clicking “Tell” at DesMoinesRegister.com/Storytellers.
Contact storytelling@dmreg.com for more information.
Visit the Storytellers store
Embrace local storytelling with our new notebooks, mugs and apparel, available online in different colors. Order at ShopDMRegister.com/Storytellers.
Hear past storytellers
WATCH: Mediacom rebroadcasts stories from the most recent show on MC22 periodically; check local listings for times.
LISTEN: Check out the Des Moines Storytellers podcast, which is available on iTunes and Stitcher.
ONLINE: Videos from this and other Storytellers events can be found at DesMoinesRegister.com/Storytellers under “Watch Listen.”
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