Staying Apart, Together: Why your emotions are valid, even in a pandemic
Editor’s Note: This is a preview of USA TODAY’s newsletter Staying Apart, Together, a guide to help us all cope with a world changed by coronavirus. If you would like it in your inbox on Tuesdays and Saturdays, subscribe here.
My best friend moved to Germany in the summer of 2019. There are a lot of times I wish I’d gone with her.
Our experiences during the pandemic have been wildly different, as the outbreak in Europe has taken a different path than here in the United States. Coronavirus surely has touched her, but the grass-is-always-greener part of my brain is convinced life has been easier abroad.
On Friday, she texted me to tell me that a replacement honeymoon she and her husband had scheduled had to be canceled again because of new travel advisories. She felt guilty for even mentioning her sadness, considering how lucky she has been compared to her friends and family who couldn’t even dream of taking a vacation right now.
I did what a good friend always does: I reminded her that her emotions are valid. The struggles and tragedies of others don’t mean we can’t feel sadness and anger about our own. We all have to do what we can to get through this time, and help others when we have the capacity to do so. Sometimes that means having a bit of a wallow over the latest experience we’ve missed.
If we don’t, that means waking up to the pandemic news of tomorrow that much more difficult. So, remember to take the time you need.
Subscribe to Staying Apart, Together here.
Today’s coronavirus-era dating advice
While virtual weddings and the lockdown lives of couples with children have dominated a lot of the headlines so far during the pandemic, another group is adapting to life during COVID-19: Singles.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and dating has not been canceled for all of 2020. Trends on dating apps show renewed interest in meeting a potential partner, but certainly things are different than they were just six months ago.
My colleague Erin Jensen wrote about how people are dating right now.
About five months into the coronavirus era, understanding the health crisis has lasted beyond a spring fling or even summer romance, some singles are showing signs they’re ready to date. …
But that doesn’t mean dating is back to normal.
Inquiring “Have you been tested?” is likely to be about a COVID-19 test rather than sexually transmitted diseases. Video chats continue to gain legitimacy, with 37% of users on Hinge saying they’d exclusively date someone they’d only met virtually. Health-conscious singles who decide to meet in person are tasked with asking dates – who might be total strangers – detailed questions about their lives in to determine the risk of exposure.
Erin spoke with three singles about their experience navigating this unique dating world. Serena Kerrigan, 26, says there’s less pressure on a video date because you’re in the comfort of your home, wearing your choice of attire.
“You can have multiple dates in one night,” she says. “You’re not paying for anything, they’re not paying for anything… There’s no expectation about kissing or sex.”
Another single had to ask her casual romantic partner some big questions early on, because health protocols demanded it.
“Very early on I was, like ‘Hey for safety reasons, are you dating other people?'” recalls Maya Murillo, 27. “And that’s for safety, that’s not just like jealousy or anything. At that point, I’m like, ‘because I’m not trying to date you if you’re exposing yourself to all these different things.'”
See the full story here.
Today’s reads
- We reported live from Friday’s march on Washington which was held in protest of racial inequality and police violence. Here’s one of the voices we heard: “I have two Black sons and seeing their parent out here trying to make a difference … to see them growing up asking why this is happening and I have to explain all the way back to when we were kidnapped,” said marcher Kendra Butler, 49, of Arlington, Texas.
- From USA TODAY Sports columnist Nancy Armour: When the Milwaukee Bucks declined the take the floor for their NBA playoff game after the police shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha, they became a part of history.
- More of a watch than a read, but our latest video in our Humankind series features a group of amazing trans women who are helping their sisters through the pandemic and showing “someone somewhere loves them.”
- Some indoor movie theaters are reopening, but if you are wary of them and want to try seeing some of the new movies that are finally coming out, we break down the pros and cons of going to a drive-in instead.
- An ode to water sports from Carly Mallenbaum, the queen of quarantine hobbies.
Today’s pet
Susan Ryan in DeLand, Florida writes, This is “our adopted stray Larry. With months of his humans staying at home, Larry’s had a lot of opportunities to beg for treats. We’re thinking it might be time to go back to work – for Larry’s sake!”
Larry, you have those humans right where you want them, don’t you?
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